Public transport. Without fail, the humor to the start of someone's day. It never disappoints. I catch the train during the week, and by the time the one hour trip is up and we are in Cape Town station, there is always a story to tell. Despite it being uncomfortably crammed and an invasion of personal space, the train would have to be the best place for someone who wished to write a review or even write a book on the different types of people our country has given birth to.
Firstly, the young college students. Dressed like Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus groupies. LOUD IS PROUD. (I gather you can guess the age group). They never fail to shout or (if you are lucky) talk at the top of their voices about everything that interested and made us laugh, as pubescent teenagers. Then we have the older college students, either asleep with their mouths open or listening to their iPod while trying to last-minute-cram study notes because drinking the night before, seemed more important at the time.
Moving to the business people. Mostly middle-aged or older, all wearing sensible shoes, meaning they have to walk a far distance to get to their office job. They either have a newspaper, a laptop, an iPad or even an iPod. Quiet and observant, you hardly even notice them, unless there is a big group of rowdy and vivacious secretaries, which is enough to make you switch off your iPod (leaving the earphones in) and sneakily listen to their amusing conversations; Middle-aged, single women with horrific middle-aged romance stories.
We then have your general workers. The dress code doesn't really say much, so you are left to assume. The usual: iPods or the latest cheap, romance novel you can buy at a pharmacy. The colored aunties: These ladies are fascinating to listen to. They have no 'skaam' to tell anyone if they are stepping on their shoes or anything that would give reason to complain about. The attitude is rife. Their conversations consist of 'skinner' mostly. Interesting image of what goes on in their lives.
The construction workers; gotta love them. They are the only people with the balls to hang outside the door of a moving train, while gripping onto the door or a friend, who then grips onto someone else or a nearby seat. Whether the train is full or not, they tend to enjoy the thrill of the possibility of falling out of the train. Madness or adrenaline?
Coming to the last stereotype. Unfortunately this is the one that I tend to run into on a daily basis; the psycho-weird-dodgy-repulsive male. The experiences I have had, would be enough to make someone give up public transport and invest in a bicycle. IT'S THAT BAD. Here are some examples:
1. The long-dirty-haired-metal-listener-science-fiction-reader : These guys don't find it any what uncomfortable or imposing to just sit and blatantly stare at you, as if you are the exact description of some erotic character they have unfolding in the book they are holding. Neither do they find it wrong to simply and blatantly look over your shoulder and watch your music selection on your iPod, even a conversation you are having on your Blackberry. I bet they know a hell of a lot more about me by now, than anyone reading this. The one guy (who fits this description PERFECTLY) decided that playing footsie with me at 7:30 am was too much of a temptation not to pursue, I'll have to say that I was crammed between him and my friend with no room to move in any direction, other than his. Therefore, I was reduced to squashing Liam and trying to play a game of chess with my feet.
2. The odd-looking-can't-place-his-vibe guy: This one, I rate is the most dangerous. He looks relatively normal, but have him sit next to you ONCE and it's overs. Example: This guy gets on at a couple of stations down from Fish Hoek, he is odd looking, I won't sugar-coat anything. He comes across as a fairly decent guy and you wouldn't run the other way if you saw him in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, appearances can be deceiving and you are quick to discover, that he too thoroughly enjoys reading the private conversations you are having on your phone. He has no shame in sitting directly opposite you and staring. You have to stare back, showing any sign of awkwardness or being uncomfortable, leads him on. Right, so this oke we became accustomed to every morning, made himself comfortable sitting next to us, but when he had enough of that,it seems he would look for us on the train. The other day (a fully crammed carriage, hardly any room to fart), he decides to make his way towards us and directly stand in our path of vision. His crotch in my face was probably his mission. And he stood there staring. I try not to give these creeps attention, but if I feel that my personal space, my little bubble is being invaded, I will do something. Unfortunately, I haven't the guts just yet.
Other than that, you just have the gangsters, trying to impress and let them hear you playing 'Black & Yellow' on your iPod, that too is overs. I can guarantee it. A white girl who likes gangster music - an exciting challenge for an early Monday morning.
Although it sounds like I am complaining (which I am slightly), I tend to enjoy these experiences (just not someone's crotch in my face). It certainly makes my day and I will guarantee a laugh out of my classmates when telling my usual, dramatic story. All in all, I suggest you take the train, especially if you're life needs some excitement ;)
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