I have recently found a new way of life. A life without drama, negativity and people posing as your friends. Imagine I have a Buddha on my shoulder wearing pink fairy wings. Something to that extent.
It’s all very well saying that, but being able to adopt it and live with it and make sure you stand by it, is extremely difficult especially at this point in time.
It really is working for me. I don’t get involved in gossip (I have been so out of the loop that I no longer know that this one suddenly has a 4 month old or that that couple divorced a year ago), I do not like drama and I tend to run in the opposite direction the minute I can smell its arrival in the air.
Unfortunately, my Buddha fairy has been challenged on the odd occasion and it is as if I can feel the thing, throwing a tantrum, perched on my shoulder.
I have acquaintances who I have known for years, people who used to be really good friends and who I have chosen to either get rid of or to just be polite to because I really don’t believe in being rude to everyone (just the few who deserve it).
Imagine this scenario:
You have this friend right, who you were extremely close to and you spoke to him/her about everything, allowing him/her to come running to you should they have a crisis or something they want advice on. Shit happens and when they seem to be showing support, they are actually bad mouthing you behind your back to another good friend of yours.
To cut a long story short, you just couldn’t be bothered with someone who can so quickly talk about you in that way when all you have done is nothing but be supportful and offer the best advice you have, so you stop the contact altogether and you move on.
You never speak to that person and when you see them out and about you get and give the odd ‘hello’, just to be polite.
So, you end a getting a message from them the one day saying they thought of you and wanted to know if you would like to meet up sometime. (You don’t really want to because you have nothing to say to them and whatever happened between the two of you, was enough to put you off until the rapture.) Anyway, you agree and leave it at that.
A week or so goes by and you end up seeing them out. Well, sadly people do not change. You receive a half-hearted hello, a look that could kill a pot plant and awkward silence between the two of you, with one-worded responses from them when you try to start a conversation.
So, what should I do? The Buddha fairy is advising me to just let it go and to get on with it, she/he is definitely not worth the frustration and the irritableness. They are no friend of yours and if they were, you would not be in the situation you were in now.
Sometimes I feel like gagging the Buddha fairy because I feel like asking them what the hell their problem is. After five minutes of contemplation, I realise that that wouldn’t really work. I’d probably get an idiotic answer or an excuse and they don’t mean that much to me in order for me to try to sort everything out. SO, I move along swiftly and keep going, with that Buddha fairy sitting on my shoulder, clumsily and pulling the middle finger to the assholes behind me.
Another scenario:
You start dating this really awesome guy who happens to have really cool friends, you all get along and you genuinely have a good time when you see them.
Only problem: His good friends happen to be his ex-girlfriends best friends.
In a way, I see it as a compliment towards him, as they obviously enjoy his friendship and they like hanging around with him. But where does it place you in all of this?
Word gets around that the ex-girlfriend is not happy at the fact that you seemed to have replaced her and she no longer wants them to be around you or your boyfriend.
I look at this scenario and I think two things: INSECURITY and HIGH SCHOOL.
Unfortunately for this ex-girlfriend, you no longer have any respect for her or the desire to even know her on a first-name basis. I understand there are two sides to every story and you have only heard the preferred side, but from what you have been told, you do not wish to be in the same area, let alone the same building as she is.
So where does this leave you?
It leaves you as someone who has been dragged into an extremely awkward situation, with people you have just started to get to know, with a resentment and hostility towards the perp as it is. It’s not a good situation to be in and it constantly bites at your ass.
So what does the Buddha Fairy tell you to do?
My Buddha Fairy has told me to just let it go, which is extremely hard as every time her name or the situation is brought up, you feel like you want to cry. No one likes to hear about their new partner’s ex- girlfriend all the time and you are made to feel as if you are the bottom denominator in it all, along with your boyfriend.
Another option would be just to let it all go and to move on in another direction to that of the new friends. Is there any point living in the current situation where you constantly feel irritable, upset, hurt and angry? In a perfect world, everyone would get along and even if the ex did not have mental issues, it wouldn’t work at all as I do not want to be around my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Nobody does.
So, unfortunately, everyone feels awkward and I don’t blame them. All because of one female throwing tantrums.
You do not expect anyone to choose and they don’t expect to choose either, but how easy is it going to be when there is a get-together or a jol planned and you have to juggle between different people, without insulting or hurting other people’s feelings? It’s not.
At this stage, my fat, clumsily Buddha is patting me on my shoulder and rubbing my earlobes for some comfort, as not even he knows what to say or to do. The only advice he can give to you is to be the better person, to try to remain friends with these people and to just let it go.
It may be the hardest thing to do and you obviously don’t feel very nice about it but listening to my Buddha seems to be the best thing I can possibly do.
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