Girls Nights. A must, in my book. I think it's important to be able to go out one night, without a male or the male (for that matter) and enjoy yourselves, without having to worry about how drunk he's going to get or if someone's ex is going to pitch up. Although the females love it, I couldn't imagine anything more intimidating to males in the same place: a group of women, on a mission to get drunk and have an absolute jol. (Yet again, some men find this appealing and one of the single women get a chance to play tonsil hockey with a guy, even a taken female, depending on how shitty her relationship is.)
There are a few glitches in this appealing system though. The single women are on a constant Girls Night when they go out, so I guess it doesn't really apply to them? Whereas the women who are attached tend to be the ones who go overboard and need to be driven home at the end of the night. (Which is totally fine and I encourage it)
What pisses me off, is a Girl's Night will be organised a week in advance, with everyone pumped and ready. The night will start off successfully but you'll have the one female who will disappear every half an hour to phone a sulking boyfriend, to see what he is doing, even worse: SHE'LL SIT ON MXIT OR BBM WITH HIM THE WHOLE EVENING! If he's sitting at home, you shouldn't need to check on him. How much, other than what movie he is watching, can he tell you? You'll see him at the end of the night, that I can promise you.
Besides that, the following pisses me off; all the girls will be having an absolute blast until someone's insecure boyfriend decides to pitch up right in the middle of shooters and discussing our sex lives. This, dampens the entire atmosphere and everyone wants to go home. It's like a DON'T DO IT! It's a different story if prior arrangements were made with everyone's boyfriends, to pitch up when it's nearly over. That's fine, chances are they are playing taxi anyway.(This, we appreciate. Even if you don't have a choice.)
I will admit that in my prior relationships, I hardly went to Girls Nights because I didn't want him sitting at home, and yes, I got the guilt trip. The guilt trip that involves his insecurity about other males grabbing an opportunity. (Men seem to able to smell a taken woman, especially when the boyfriend isn't in sight). Well, the next relationship I take on, he better accept the fact that Girl's Nights will happen, in moderation. The other problem was going out and having a jol, getting tipsy and feeling the vibes, but if you get emotional when you are drunk (like me, occasionally), your mind tends to f*ck you over and all you want is your boyfriend to be there, so you end up phoning him (shit-faced and in tears on the phone). DON'T DO IT!! He has complete control over you then and he ends up coming to fetch you. The girls won't invite you in the future if you do this every time.
Being single, I tend to enjoy girls nights. I get to see my involved friends enjoying themselves and letting lose. Men need to realize that women WILL go the extra mile with dressing up for a girl's night, it just works that way. (I can imagine a typical male discussing this with a friend: "You know, she went on a Girl's Night last night and she made an effort to get dressed up. She hasn't dressed like that since we first started dating".) I'm not speaking for anyone I know, BUT us women (attached or not) love to go out and feel appreciated and 'checked out' by different males, other than ours. I'm not saying cheating, just noticing another male appreciating the effort we have made towards our appearance. It gives us confidence and we realize that at least one other male on the planet is attracted to us (this tends to happen in a long-term miserable relationship. I wonder how many couples have broken up after a girls night?) I'm just saying....
I'm not saying that I don't enjoy partying with my 'boyfriend' (abbreviated commas because I don't exactly have one) but in all my past experiences, every night has turned out into a complete f*ck up. Either he gets shit-faced and needs to be taken home before you've even finished your drink, he or his friend(s) get into a fight and you end up playing ring leader, you get shit-faced because your relationship is going to the dogs, some courageous male hits on you and there are altercations or even some courageous female decides to practically sit in his lap (and yes, I've never completely seen them NOT like it) which puts you in a shit mood or even some other male, just simply admiring you. THIS, gets their backs up and they sit and sulk the whole night. The one night I went out with one of my ex's (not mentioning any names) and a few friends. I ended up dancing with a really good male friend of mine. The ex decided he couldn't match this other guy's dancing skills, so he decided to sit in the corner, by himself the whole night and sulk. I ended up confronting him and we slept in separate bedrooms that night. Have I yet to meet a male I can be with and actually party without any issues? I'm still waiting. I look forward to it.
So, to cut a long story short, Girls Nights are a necessity. Don't give a shit if he sulks or tries to put you on a guilt trip, he should be able to go do something with his own friends, or even be happy to sit at home and join you afterwards. If he tries the above, do what he does when the next important rugby match is on and watch the fireworks go off. Men need to realize that, just as they need sports evenings or strip-club evenings (that's a whole different subject), so do women need their own time with their friends. You'll find that she'll come home
(if you go with her flow) and say: " I had an amazing evening, wish you were there babe! Thanks so much!" Give her that freedom and your life will go smoothly. She won't complain the next time you want to go on a surfing trip or go watch a rugby match at Newlands. The sooner a male realizes this, the better for all of them. One last piece of advice: Men, don't be scared of Girl's Nights out either, if you're treating her properly and you both truly smaak each other, you'll have nothing to worry about. If you aren't treating her properly, expect a break-up phone call at 3am. It's more than likely she's found someone more attractive than you and who says the things you've forgotten to say in the previous months.
A friend of mine who is somewhat a lot older than me (who has his moments) once said to me (I'll never forget this) that when taken males are happy and contempt with their chicks, they don't check out other females when they go out in a group of guys. Yes, they'll say : "She's hot" but that's about it. Most of the time, they talk absolute shit, like males tend to when in a group. Correct me if I am wrong ;)
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