For the last 8 months, I’ve been writing to two inmates in America. Yes, inmates, prisoners. Although this sounds dodgy and possibly life-threatening, it’s been an awesome experience.
I was watching Dr Phil (as I sometimes do) and they were airing an episode that involved women who looked for love dangerously. Half way through the episode, they started talking to a woman who married an inmate she had met through a pen pal system. Now, firstly, that’s a bit much (for me) and I don’t think I would be willing to consummate my marriage under the watch of security guards, BUT as usual, this fascinated me, as all taboo and dodgy things do, so I went straight onto the website.
The main motivation of this organisation (based in the states) is to rehabilitate inmates, to help them receive outside legal aid, possible job offers, create positive contacts outside for when they are released and to reduce the statistics of being imprisoned over and over again. I found this fascinating, so I agreed that I was 18 or older and entered the site. On the home page, they show you profiles of new inmates who have recently joined the website (pictures and all) or you get to scroll through the names (A-Z), both female and male. I took my time and yes, some of them look as dodgy as you get, but some of them look pretty down to earth.
Each profile provides what they are interested in and what type of pen pal they would like to correspond with. At the bottom of each inmate’s profile, the Department of Corrections has included the information you’re going to want to know, in case he turns out to be a psycho when released. They tell you all his personal details (birth date, home town etc), what they have been imprisoned for, earliest parole date, whether on death row or not, or life incarceration. I will not correspond with anyone who has murdered, raped or fiddled with little kids (I have yet to come a cross a paedophile on the website, they’ve obviously restricted that.) It took me about two hours to find somebody of interest. He’s two years older than me, born in Wasilla, imprisoned in Alaska. A Fred-Durst look alike (a bit more bulky), his crime was armed robbery, harmless compared to some of these other guys. Earliest release date: 2014, so I figured I would realise if he was a psycho or not before then. Why not give it a shot?
His interests: Off-road biking, music, reading and working out (obviously in the yard). I sent him a ‘Hi, I’m so and so, these are my interests, I live in South Africa, would be cool to correspond’ email and waited. Inmates only receive mail twice a month on two set dates, so it takes about ten days for him to receive mine and another ten days for me to receive his, a letter a month.
He, I have to say, would have to be one of the most down to earth, humorous and cool guys I have ‘met’. When you initially start a process like this, you are a skeptic, which is more than understandable because you really don’t know what you’re going to get in return, he’s in prison for god’s sake, he’s not an exchange student. I will have to say I have been pretty lucky with both of my pen pals (the second will be explained later). They really are just normal people, who happened to have f*cked up majorly. He likes the same music and authors as me, which gave us something to talk about and we’ve pretty much spoken about everything, from past relationships to what we want from a relationship etc etc etc. (His brother is in prison with him, he wanted a pen pal, a.k.a my sister, she was far from enthusiastic on that suggestion.) He sends pictures every now and then, of him and his brother in the yard, with friends that visit and when they go on supervised outings. I’ve sent him pictures (which is only fair) and whenever I write about the latest f*ck up in my non-existant love life, he reassures me that they are relatively stupid, because a guy like him would kill to be with someone who looks like me. Prison flattery, gotta love it!
I will say, our writing romance is coming to an end, we really don’t have much to say to each other anymore, just the latest in each other’s lives and how things are going in prison. He is possibly being upgraded to a ‘safe house’ which is still a prison, but with more freedom. He’s obviously behaving. (I’ve asked everything possible, you should know me by now, no holding back). So, when I realised it was coming to an end, I searched for my second one (I know it sounds bad, but it’s like shopping off an online catalogue).
The second one. He is a keeper. Without fail I will receive an 8 page letter every time, what a beaut! 8 years older than me, this guy comes from Michigan (but has a house in Florida). Imprisoned for felon in possession, breaking and entering and ESCAPE. Yes, he escaped prison and got caught. What a legend! He’s been incarcerated since 1996 and his earliest release date says 2013, but he’s currently being moved around the country, with a possible chance of freedom as early as next year. This guy is awesome, same personality, same interests and same sense of humor. He makes money by tattooing in prison, he is covered in prison tattoos, they look awesome, just not something I would do. A couple of months ago, I never received a letter from him, wondering why I asked in the next letter, this guy got caught tattooing and was put under isolation for a month. He claims it was worth it because he made $2000 in the process. Big money for hepatitis and HIV/AIDS contractions in prison.
Due to his shipment across states, he’s signed up to this new email website for prisoners, where they pay a fee to be able to email family and friends, instead of writing. (Initially I was corresponding with a friend of his in Florida, where he would pass my letters on). This website has become both a positive and a negative thing. As opposed to receiving an exciting letter once a month, I am now getting an email every day, and I feel extremely bad because I don’t have the time to sit and write an email every day, I do try my best and he understands.
This oke, unfortunately, rates I’ll be visiting him one day, when he’s out. Luckily he doesn’t know where I live (I’m not that crazy), so I rate I’m pretty safe. Would be interesting having a freshly-released inmate at my front gate. Awkward. Whether I end up meeting either of them one day, you never know. I might just become accustomed to living in a trailer ;) (I use this to wind up my older cousins, they have absolute fanny wobbles when I threaten).
Whether anyone thinks I’m crazy or not, in all seriousness, these guys come from broken homes, with alcoholic and abusive parents and they’ve lived in societies that are depressed. I’m not excusing them at all for what they’ve done, but I think if your or my mother f*cked every man in the trailer park and you have over 8 siblings, you too, would probably be susceptible to what they have done. Think Eminem in 8 Mile and times that by 20? Clear enough image? Neither do any of their families make the effort to write or to visit. They are lucky if they get visitors every couple of months. I know how I would feel if I was in this situation and getting letters from me and their various other pen pals, makes them a little bit more cheerful. (I saw on a documentary that most inmates committ suicide because of depression, really sad.)
I also believe that if you do something wrong and you have been convicted and incarcerated, you deserve a second chance like anyone else, when released. (This excludes rapists, murderers and paedophiles, zero tolerance for those people). I’m talking about okes like my pen pals, the ones who did something stupid at the wrong time. Let’s face it; anyone could have screwed up like them (well maybe not the second one, escape is pretty premeditated), but my first pen pal apparently got drunk one night and thought it would be cool to try rob a superette. WRONG THING TO DO. He’s paying for it now, but he’s doing his best to stay out of trouble and get an early release. The second one says he’s finally realised he needs to sort himself out and get out of the prison system, I found this humorous.
Please don’t think I’d actually travel across the world for these guys, um no. I’m not the type to get myself into a dodgy situation, let alone marry an ex-inmate. So, if any of you think I’m that tarty, rest assured I’m not leaving South Africa to pursue a convict romance. I’ll give anybody full permission to shoot me at an airport terminal, if I randomly lose my mind and decide to hop on a plane ;)
So, these monthly letters gives me something to look forward to, something to write about and of course, something to blog about. I happened to mention the website one day in class and before I knew it, all my classmates were on their terminals, looking through the inmate profiles. “He’s hot, she looks like a milf”. We all had a laugh and even a few of them sent emails, I haven’t heard anything further from them, maybe they’ve met their matches ;)
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