"I'm different, I promise!"

Men. Each and every one of them are no different from each other. Unfortunately us females seem to fall for this every time, depending how good they are at bullshitting. “I’m different from other guys”. I could write a 1000 page book just using that phrase over and over again, like lines we were forced to write in high school for punishment. Maybe after writing that repetitive book, I might have managed to get the fact that THEY ARE ALL THE SAME into my thick skull.

When you meet a guy and he seems to be able to charm the pants off of you, with the bonus of having loads in common, you let yourself down by saying to yourself: “You know, he might just be different from the rest of him”. This is the stage where you need to either roundhouse kick yourself in the attempt of knocking yourself out and waking up to him having disappeared (for your own safety) or you need to drown yourself in your own bath tub or swimming pool, depending how dramatic you are feeling.

Men are cowards and as much as they gain your trust and convince you that they are honest with you, they are not. Whether they are seeing someone else behind your back and leading you to the delusion that they are actually into you and you are the only interest in their lives or to the simple stupidity of making out that their ex is a psycho and to their own detriment, you have the random chance to hear her side of the one-sided story one night while out at a bar.  Everything seems to make sense and fall into place at this stage and you want to bash your head against a brick wall.

Unfortunately we fall for it every time and you eventually get to a stage where you are no longer upset or angry, you actually feel nothing because a part of you (that hides in the beginning) comes out to tell you: I F*CKING TOLD YOU SO. This is the stage where you lift your arms effortlessly into the air and say: HERE WE GO AGAIN.

Maybe it’s a good immunity to develop. I look at it in that way. You don’t get hurt, but you feel a slight sense of disappointment because you truly did hope that he was different and maybe it was your lucky break for once. You will feel angry at yourself, mainly. How could you fall for this crap? Is what I ask myself every time. Maybe I’m the one with the problem? Never thought of it that way before. You also feel disappointment towards that person because who you thought was a decent and awesome person, is actually weak and pathetic and that charming, too-good-to-be-true profile you created of him, along with the 1000 meter pedestal you placed him on, comes crashing down like the twin towers.

I will have to say that I have probably heard everything by now. Pick-up lines, compliments and things they know we want to hear. To be honest, I’d actually rather have a male be blunt with me nowadays and instead of strategically trying to get into my pants, I’d rather he say: “ I think you’re hot, I’m not the commitment type and I’m probably going to see someone else behind your back BUT would you be keen to give it a go?” That’s the stage I have gotten to.

So, as I and a friend of mine from college (who has been through what I have) have realised is that men are better for nothing  other than using and abusing. They are only good for when you want some stuk every now and then in order to keep you going for the next couple of months. How sad is it to come to this realisation? NO RELATIONSHIP, JUST STUK. THAT’S WHAT THE ASSHOLES OUT THERE HAVE FORCED US TO BELIEVE IN BECAUSE IT’S WAY TOO RISKY TO GIVE THEM ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT.

Women tend to get emotionally involved when sleeping with men, but as we have discussed, we have been able to switch that off. Why get emotionally involved when you know that (in the event of a possible commitment) you are going to be subjected to everything you’ve experienced before? So, let’s not waste either of our time and let’s just get this over with. How cut-off and bitter. And we are not the only ones who have become like this either, it seems to be quite popular at the moment.

So, before I sound like the bitter and angry bitch that I am, this is the sum up of mine and most of my friend’s lives. Constant and utter disappointment. The worst is when you meet someone and you think to yourself: “If he f*cks me over, I’ll never trust another male again” because he seems too good to be true AND THEN he does f*ck you over. I guess I am a pretty strong female because I still seem to be going strong and the assholes keep coming and going like traffic. You learn from everything and one day I’ll be able to look back at the ever-growing pile of Life Experiences and laugh. Who can say they’ve experienced what I have? Not a lot of people. I suppose one day I will meet a guy who is ‘different’ from other men and then come to realise ten years later, married, that he really isn’t any different from any of the other assholes out there. That’s the day I’ll shake his hand and say: “Good on you. You were better and more cunning than the rest of them”.