You’d think that having good friends and being with them through their shit, as well as them being with you through yours, that they would support you and at least be happy for you, no matter what their true opinion is. I suppose not, seeing as some of the ‘friends’ (they only deserve abbreviations from now on) have had nothing but horrible things to say about me and my new ‘relationship’ – let’s put that in abbreviations too since everyone thinks it’s not worthwhile and that it’s going to bomb shortly.
I am extremely hurt and upset. All I have been hearing lately is negativity and horrible remarks about something they haven’t even had the time to ask me about or even made the effort to put in their opinion, good or not. For once I am happy, I cannot remember the last time I was this happy and feel that I have found somebody I truly want to be with, without a doubt. Unfortunately, others feel the need to put both me and him down in the process, behind our backs, which makes it worse. I would much rather prefer them to say it to my face instead of making silent comments which seem to hurt a lot more than pure bluntness.
Luckily, all of his friends are supportive and have actually made the effort to contact me and to keep him going on his side until he gets home. What the hell is wrong with mine? Is it because they aren’t happy with themselves and their own lives? Do they feel the need to attempt to ruin something for me that makes me utterly happy for once, so that they don't feel totally miserable alone?
Yes, he f*cked up. Everyone f*cks up and he is sorry. I really don’t feel the need to justify myself nor him to anybody. It’s just the two of us in this and as long as we know where we stand, it has nothing to do with anybody else, I also don’t feel the need to prove anything to them either, they will have all the proof they need when he does get home.
I really shouldn’t let this get to me or even hurt me, but unfortunately it has and I can only count the few people on one hand who are supporting me and are truly happy for me. I don’t think these ‘friends’ know how I would feel when he does get home and I can’t even introduce him to them because of everything they have said. Thank you to those who have been there for me, you mean the world to me.
There is nothing worse than hearing what I have heard when you have just started a new relationship, especially when your boyfriend happens to be a 28 hour flight away. It’s hard enough without all the attacks and the viciousness. We are doing what we can and I really don’t need this on top of it.
I don’t understand people. They really don’t feel happy with themselves until they bring somebody else down. It’s as if every nasty word they have to say replaces the emptiness and the bitterness that consumes them, like a vent, releasing it by making somebody else feel utterly terrible about themselves. An unfortunate swop.
I know this because I used to be a bitter bitch. I used to have nothing but bad things to say about everybody else because I was unhappy with myself and I was unhappy with life in general. I loved drama and what it brought with it because it distracted me from everything I hated about myself. I have finally got to where I want to be in my life, I finally feel happy and someone happened to come along at just the right time. Everything from friends, family, college work and the social life has improved because I have made the effort to quit the self-sympathy act and to do something about it before I go off the edge and become somebody who nobody wants to be around.
I respect some of the friends who have voiced their concern, I appreciate it because they are looking out for me and I would do the same for them. To those who need to grow some balls and confront me, thanks. You too make me realise that I won’t be able to run to you when I need advice and I’m not sure I’ll be waiting with open arms anymore the next time you need comfort. Please take a look at your life, ask yourself what you need to do before you brutally criticise mine and then, if it’s perfect without a scratch, I give you full permission to attack with guns blazing. Until then, keep it to yourself, as much as it makes you itch to voice it to others.
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